From "Bad Ass: Living And Spells," ~ The Parable Of The Auburn Cow...

...Be careful with your spells!!!... Snicker!!!... ;)

A young Scottish man called Bill was highly enamored of Joan, a girl who would have nothing to do with him. Although, he tried every romantic thing he could think of, she simply wasn't interested and spurned him on every occasion. Admittedly, Bill was no prize catch, cloddish and not terribly smart either. Sooo... Finally, completely frustrated, he went to a famous sorceress. For a large sum of money, practically everything Bill had, the sorceress told him she would perform a love spell on Joan that would positively guarantee she would become completely infatuated with him. Bill was overjoyed. The sorceress told him she would need a lock of the Joan's hair. Hmmm..., thought Bill, how do I get a lock of her hair? Then, he remembered that the girl's little sister, Julia played with her friends every day at the town bridge. Bill approached the little sister, giving her a shiny copper coin, saying, --- "Snip off a lock of your sister's pretty red hair for me, because I want to make a bookmark of it." Julia thought it was a strange request, but she knew, as did everyone in the village, how much Bill admired her older sister, so she nodded that she would. Bill presented the lock of reddish hair to the sorceress who did the love spell. It probably WAS her hair, --- right?... He got it from her sister, --- right?... Then, a few days later, a large shaggy auburn cow began following Bill everywhere! The cow wouldn't leave him alone! It even followed him into the church, causing quite a ruckus! The pastor and several other men had to drag the cow outside, and still it mooed pitifully and beat it's hooves against the church door. The cow was so lovesick she licked Bill's ears and tried to push at him for mating! Bill, followed by the cow, rushed up to the little sister Julia, who told him she couldn't get a lock of her sister's hair... But, she didn't think it would make much difference if the hair was from their cow. After all, it was only for a book mark. Bill was desperate, followed by the faithful cow, he returned to the sorceress, complaining that the love spell went ALL wrong, --- and, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, REMOVE IT, --- NOW!!!... The sorceress was much amused, yet told him she could do nothing. The spell was a very strong one and must wear itself out, --- and who knew how long that might take? Bill was furious, and went away, followed still, by the cow, whose bell jangled merrily. ~ Copyright 2024, by Sorelle Sucere: A re-telling of an old traditional Scottish folk tale.